


xix. exhaustion

by tempestaurora



Series: it's okay, we're okay [whumpvember 2018] [19]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alien Invasion, Exhaustion, Gen, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestaurora/pseuds/tempestaurora
Summary: “Peter. You with me?”“Ya-huh.”“Alright, care to sit up?” Tony helped heave him up and Peter blinked, slow. He yawned and felt his spine squeeze out every inch of pain it could. “I’d love to have a chat with you about your health and sleeping habits,” he said, “but there’s aliens invading, so do you mind if we do it later?”





	xix. exhaustion

**Author's Note:**

> me yesterday: today's fic is cute  
> me yesterday: a liar
> 
>  
> 
> me today: today's fic is cute, believe me this time alright  
> me today:

“Peter!”

Tony’s voice jolted Peter back to the world of the living and he blinked rapidly, resuming his climb up the side of the building.

“Yeah! Yeah, Mr Stark.”

He’d only been asleep for a moment, as far as he could tell. Below him, the portal to another world was still open in the middle of the New York street; aliens racing out with their strange, glowing red weapons and armour that looked like bone. Iron Man and War Machine ( _cough_ Iron Patriot _cough_ ) stood back to back on the road, guns firing and lasers shooting out in bright beams.

It was just the three of them. Vision had disappeared two weeks ago and was yet to return – though, secretly, Peter had a feeling he wouldn’t – and the rest of the Avengers were off… Peter didn’t know, being war criminals? He wasn’t sure. But they weren’t here during an alien invasion.

Luckily, it was much smaller than the Battle of New York one. More like a scouting party; a prelude to a bigger battle that would be the main event.

Peter reached the top of the building, head aching, eyes blinking so slowly black dots were appearing across his vision. God, he was fucking _tired._ He hadn’t been sleeping recently; just couldn’t, just laid down every night and stared at the next bunk up until morning shone through his window. He hadn’t been going out as Spiderman when he felt like this – no, Mr Stark had told him to look after himself, so he was trying. And, besides, if Peter used the suit between two and six AM, Tony heard about it and would be out there on the streets of Queens, nagging him until he returned to bed.

So Peter was tired. Peter was fucking exhausted, but Peter was also in the middle of an alien invasion, so he had to focus.

“Lay them out for us,” Tony said in his ear, and Peter nodded, eyes on the entire scene.

“About fifty so far,” Peter replied after taking a long, deep breath. “Most of them heading down the street to you – about nine or ten outliers heading the other way. Three or four are coming towards my position – none seem capable of flight, so far. Oh! That one over there just blew a hole in a building!”

“Yeah, got that,” Tony muttered and Peter watched the Iron Man suit shoot off to where the building was currently on fire.

“Mr Stark!” Peter yelled, feeling as if he should be more alert but his body unwilling. Iron Man soared in, ignoring the scattered aliens and heading straight through the hole, before reappearing, carrying three civilians in his arms and depositing them away from the gunfire. The other civilians had long since ran to the police barricades, a block out in every direction.

“Peter, take out the ones coming to you. Rhodey, I’m gonna deal with the outliers and I’ll be back with you right after.”

“You got it, Tones,” Rhodey confirmed, a miniature missile shooting out from his shoulder and exploding next to a car. The explosion seared the three aliens nearby and a car flipped away from it, smashing upon impact into a stranded city bus.

Peter stood, groaning as his head rushed and colours danced before his eyes.

“Kid, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter muttered, blinking it away.

The aliens below him were headed for the barricade, so he leapt off the roof, shooting a web and swinging down, his feet out in front of him and connecting with the back of the nearest ET.

They turned on him then, Peter rolling as he landed the floor, shooting a web before he’d finished turning to yank the weird weapon out of an alien’s arm – only to find it attached.

“Mr Stark – I think the weapons are part of their bodies,” Peter complained, flipping away as one shot a red beam of pain at him. Somewhere behind him, it connected with a car and Peter’s ears rang with the explosion.

“-got that, kid,” Tony was saying when he was done breathing through the pain, dodging the attacks of the aliens. He had to start offence eventually, but his limbs were so heavy he thought they’d drag him to the ground. Peter was comparing himself to an anchored ship in that moment, the anchor so heavy it was sinking the entire vessel into the ocean.

Maybe he’d drown on sea water before the aliens killed him.

Peter dispatched the first one with a strong enough punch to send it flying into the wall of a building. Peter groaned the whole way through.

“Peter,” Tony said in his ear. “Seriously. What’s up? Are you okay?”

“Sure, sure, Mr Stark,” Peter replied, ducking under the swing of an alien and shooting a web at its feet, sticking them together. Peter lunged out with a kick, huffing at the exertion and then stumbling back at the same time as he alien. “I’m just a little tired, is all.”

“A little?” Rhodey asked over the comms. “Kid, I can see you. You’re stumbling around the place. How much sleep did you get last night?”

“Oh, you know,” Peter replied, mild, aiming a web for the street light and pulling himself up. He perched on it for a moment, watching the aliens spin to find him. “None.”

“Pete!”

“I know, Mr Stark. I’m _trying_ to sleep, it’s just not happening.”

Peter backflipped off the street lamp only half a second before it disintegrated in the blast. He landed on the wall, trying to blink away the shapes and colours that were blurring his vision. His danger sense caught him in time, screaming _MOVE_ into the place where his spine and neck connected, Peter ducking out of the way just in time to avoid being killed.

“Nuh uh, kid,” Rhodey said. “That was two close calls in less than three seconds. Tones, I got too many on me, can you cover your spider child for five minutes? He’s gonna get killed at this rate.”

Usually, Peter would protest, but he didn’t have it in him. Instead, he clambered up the wall, making it about half way up the height of the apartment building before looking back at the aliens. One still had its weapon pointed at him, while the other was looking down towards the barricade and the masses of morbidly interested civilians who just wouldn’t leave the battle field.

“I’m on my way,” Tony said. “Rhodes, I left about three of them out here but I called in the Iron Legion. They’ll be here in eighty-six seconds.”

Peter jumped off the wall when one of the aliens shot at him again, sending out a web just in time to catch him – he’d misjudged too many things about that jump; the height, how long it would take to reach the ground, how long it would take for the web to attach to the opposite wall.

Rather, Peter skidded along the ground before stumbling and flipping overhead, landing painfully on his back.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“Wipe out,” Tony replied. “You okay?”

“Maybe.”

Behind him were the familiar sounds of the Iron Man repulsors, blasting the aliens straight to hell. Only a moment later, he blinked his eyes open to see Tony leaning over him, face plate retracted to show his worried expression.

“Peter. You with me?”

“Ya-huh.”

“Alright, care to sit up?” Tony helped heave him up and Peter blinked, slow. He yawned and felt his spine squeeze out every inch of pain it could. “I’d love to have a chat with you about your health and sleeping habits,” he said, “but there’s aliens invading, so do you mind if we do it later?”

Peter waved a hand. “That’s fine by me.”

“Okay, okay. So, you’re benched.”

“Mr Stark-”

“No, no, Rhodey was right with his calls. You almost got yourself killed too many times, you’re half asleep right now and I’m worried you’re gonna crash and the alien’s just gonna merk you, okay?”

Peter frowned. “You’ve never said _merk_ before.”

“That’s really not the point here.”

“Right, right. Danger to myself and to others,” Peter muttered, grabbing Tony’s outstretched hand to pull himself onto his swaying feet.

“Tones, the pack’s splitting up. They’re all headed out in different directions.”

“Got it,” Tony said, his faceplate slamming back into place. “Get out of here, alright? Walk, maybe, not web. I don’t need a spider-shaped stain on the tarmac.”

“Sure thing Mr-”

There was a beam of red light. Peter’s breath getting caught in his throat. The feeling of _PUSH HIM_ at the base of his neck. Peter’s body rarely had a chance to think about his actions when the danger sense was screaming. No, Peter’s body followed orders when there was danger, and so Peter’s arms flew out in front of him before he even had the chance to process-

 

-

 

On the video footage, caught on a civilian’s phone, half way down the block at the police barricade, the aliens advanced to Spiderman and Iron Man, both of them up on their feet. Iron Man turned, just barely, towards the blast of red energy coming from its arm gun, before Spiderman shoved out his arms and pushed Iron Man so hard that he flew across the street, barely stopping himself before ramming into a building.

Spiderman, on the other hand, screamed so loud it made the footage audio crackle. His back arched in the energy beam before it shut off and Spiderman collapsed to the ground. Amid all the screaming of the civilians – _did Spiderman just die?_ – one word could be heard clear as day from Iron Man; _“PETER!”_

-

 

There was darkness to Peter. There was darkness and something agonising, like his whole body was coming apart at the seams, it he was disintegrating, undoing, being unmade second by second.

His eyes rolled back and there was flares of pain as his body was turned, as something shuffled around his face, as there were hands, hands, _hands._

There was the faint sound of a voice, but Peter didn’t know who he was anymore so he’d never figure out the voice. Peter didn’t know himself. Peter didn’t exist.

If you’re not breathing, do you exist?

If you can’t see, can’t hear, can’t feel anything but blinding pain and every molecule in your body coming undone, do you exist?

If you’re Peter, dying, in this moment, do you exist?

 

-

 

_Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter. Can you hear me? Peter! Come on. Come on, Peter. Kid. Please. Christ. Rhodey! Rhodes- James. Please! He’s not- he’s not breathing. He’s- kid? Kid? Come on. I’m doing CPR, Jesus, yes, I’m doing it. I’m counting, I know. He’s- I don’t know how to describe it, I don’t. Peter. He’s burnt. His suit’s practically disintegrated. His skin is just blood, I don’t- I don’t know- good. Good. Okay. How long until they get here? How- That’s too long. That’s too long. Christ! Shit! Yes, yes, it’s okay. Alien fuckers. CPR. CPR. CPR. Peter. Please. Don’t leave me, kid. Don’t do this right now._

-

 

Peter existed sometimes.

Other times floated in a void, all black and blue and red – the colours changed with the faint, echoing sounds he could never decipher. They always sounded like voices; quiet whispers along the edges of his consciousness.

He couldn’t find them. He couldn’t reach them.

 

-

 

_Hey, baby. Hey, you can come back anytime, you know. We’ll be happy to see you again. I love you so much, sweetie. I don’t love this haircut as much. You do look kinda punk rock, though, with one side shaved. Maybe we’ll have to cut it all off and start again – but maybe this look could work for you. The burns are healing. Slowly, but they’re healing. You can come back whenever you like, okay? I’ll wait right here for you._

-

 

There was a beeping sometimes in a very even rhythm. Peter liked even rhythms, liked the simplicity of them, how sure they were.

Sometimes he heard shouts – but they were like the whispers; far, far away. The shouts were often accompanied with his nice even rhythm vanishing into a long, monotone note.

 

-

 

_Hey, Pete. Tony won’t be long. Pepper’s making him shower ‘cause he hasn’t in, like, a week. He’s just been sitting here, you know? He’s been working on a new suit for you, though – apparently, it’ll be stronger than the last one… He’s avoiding the press, I think. Pepper keeps muttering about it like we don’t hear her. They have lots of questions, you know? Tony said your name when you went down. Someone caught it on camera, and well – I think there’s a distant shot of your face, too. Though it’s burned and… Yeah. Don’t worry about that though, Pete. Pepper and Tony are masters at the whole PR thing by this point. They’ll fix it all up, no problem._

-

 

He was always so fucking tired, whether he existed or not.

Peter just wanted to sleep for an eternity.

 

-

 

_Oh! Alright, then Raleigh and Mako pilot the jaeger right into the kaiju! They have this really awesome fight sequence – you’ve seen it. You know it! I don’t know if this is when Mako follows the rabbit or if that’s later, but at some point there’ll be a scene where she’s carrying her shoe around as a child, and then there’s a kaiju and her parents die and then Idris Elba climbs out a jaeger and saves her life-_

-

 

Maybe he just would. He’d just sleep for eternity. That sounded nice.

 

-

 

_Hey, Peter. You gave us quite a scare there. That’s the fourth time you’ve flatlined today. No one can figure it out, you know? Cho thinks you want to go, that’s all. She thinks you’re ready – but, we’re not. I’m sorry, but we’re not ready, honey. May’s scared out of her mind, so’s Tony. They’re out in the hall, trying to collect themselves. Even Rhodey’s all shaken up – come on, Peter. Fight for us, okay? Fight to come back. I know you’re tired, but we all want to see you again. Your burns are fading quicker than they were before, like you’re getting better. You can do this, okay?_

-

 

There was a feeling in his hand; a pressure, a warmth. He hadn’t felt that for what seemed like centuries.

 

-

 

_Don’t make me say it, Peter. I’m just- Cho thinks we should be telling you everything we need to, you know? Saying goodbyes, just in case. She doesn’t understand that we’re gonna resuscitate you every time you do that thing where your heart just fucking—stops. You’re not leaving us, Parker. No way, no how. I don’t want another intern. I don’t want another Spiderman. I don’t want another Peter Parker. Alright? Is that? Is that enough? I just… Peter, please. I’ve lost too much already, don’t make me add you to that list. I love you, kid, okay. I do. But I’m not gonna say goodbye to you. You’re coming back._

-

 

Was he?

 

-

 

He was.

 

-

 

“Mr Stark.”

_“Peter.”_

He cracked some sort of smile – _oh, there’s the beeping_. There was the hand in his. Those were the voices that brushed against the edge of his being.

“Hi, Mr Stark.”

His chest ached when he breathed, his entire body flared in pain when he existed – but, he was okay. Mostly. He smiled anyway. Mr Stark grinned right back, bringing a hand up to his hair and rubbing a thumb across his cheek.

“Hey, kid.”

Peter let out a long breath. “Did you feed my Tamagotchi while I was out? I’m trying not to kill it.”

Tony breathed out a laugh. “Ned came by and insisted he look after it. He’s been writing a log of everything that happens to it so you don’t miss a thing.”

Peter shut his eyes, a smile on his face. “That’s good. I love you, too, you know.”

“You heard that?”

Peter shrugged then winced at the pain. “I don’t think so, but I know you said it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s a Mr Stark thing to say.”

**Author's Note:**

> lmao sux 4 u guys  
> see u tomorrow


End file.
